Hockey player sex tapes (hypothetical)


Seguin: His is saved on his desktop in a password protected file. The password is his dogs name.

Ovechkin: There are 3 copies, one for him and one for each of the 2 ladies who acted as his costars. His copy is on a DVD with his face on the cover. He keeps it in his living room on his movie self, right between the mighty Ducks and The Avengers. 

Jagr: His is on a dusty VHS tape. Its in a box in his garage, between his tennis racket and Christmas decorations. He makes a point of taking it out every Thanksgiving  and watching it.

Hall: His was a snap chat video. He Drunkenly sent it to Eberle, who deleted it immediately.

Eberle: he snap chated a video to Hall labeled “sex tape”. It was really just a Rick Roll.

Sedin: Daniel says its Henriks. Henrik says its Daniels. Only they will ever know the truth.

Crosby: Sidney Crosby does not have a sex tape. Sidney Crosby does not know how sex works. He watched part of a porn once on accident. He thought it was going to be a heartwarming tale of a resourceful babysitter who finds an alternate way to pay for pizza. 

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castieltherebel: conquerorwurm: computeraidedenrichmentblog: smokywarfare: If the multiverse…





If the multiverse theory is true, then there’s a universe where it isn’t.

Multiverse theory doesn’t cover paradoxical situations

Except in the universe where it does

i’m having an aneurysm

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